Unidentifiable Feelings
by bring-it-over
Summary: Spencer isn't feeling well and Melissa comes to comfort her. Hastingcest.
1. Chapter 1

**Spencer POV**

I was reluctant to wake up this morning and go to school. It would be yet another day of teasing from Noel and his posse. I figured he'd get bored with me and just leave it alone... boy was I wrong.

After school, I walked in my bedroom, tears streaming down my face. Maybe being called a boy and skinny weren't bad insults for some people, but to me, it felt like the end of the world. If Noel Khan didn't like me, then no one would.

I was laying on my bed, my back facing the door. I didn't know how much time had passed, nor did I care. I had enough of my homework done to last the next two weeks. I heard the faint creek of my door as it opened and closed, but I didn't care enough to turn around and address the intruder. The area on my bed beside me dipped slightly and I felt a tentative yet gentle hand being placed on my shoulder.

"W-What's wrong Spencer?" I didn't like to feel weak in front of people, including my sister, but I was too upset to pay mind to my appearance at the moment. I slowly sat up and looked at Melissa. She looked at me with what I picked up as concern. But there was something else in her eyes that I couldn't quite make out. Maybe it was-

"Spencer?"

At that moment, I could no longer hold in my bottled up emotions. I burst out in a fit of tears. Of my entire recorded existence, I'd never let anyone see me cry, let alone completely break down. Melissa gave me a timid hug and I rocked back and forth in her arms. I told her everything that happened this day and all that made me upset. She didn't say much, but she didn't have to, I knew she cared.

When I calmed down, I wanted to thank her for keeping me company, but when I looked at her I was at a lost for words. Her eyes were red with unshed tears, but she still looked beautiful all the same. Maybe it was the way she held me when I was sad. Or how her hand slowly caressed my cheek. Or maybe it was her undeniable beauty. But regardless, I knew my feelings for her at that moment completely changed.

I looked toward her face, leaned in and barely grazed her lips with mine before I quickly pulled back as if she were a raging fire. But there was a definite tingle there, and she would had to have been insane not to feel it... or maybe it was just me.

There was a flash of confusion on her face, but I could tell she was also conflicted about something. Maybe she wanted this just as much as I did. Before I could continue to think on it, she leaned in and firmly pressed her lips to mine. It was slow, and passionate, and not at all sloppy. Her tongue reached out and probed my bottom lip, and I granted her access in my mouth. we continued for several minutes until oxygen became a necessity. When we pulled apart, I leaned my forehead against hers and we were both panting lightly.

I looked over at my clock and noticed it to be half past 11. Melissa must have noticed the time as well because she reluctantly began to stand up and make her way out the door. My breath hitched in my throat and I quickly reached for her hand.

"Mel, stay with me, please…" my voice wavered. She gently squeezed my hand and bent down. She gave me a soft peck on my lips, then my forehead.

"Goodnight, Spencer"

I was starting to feel as if she regretted what just happened, but just before she left my room, I saw a smirk on her face in dim light of my table lamp.I reached over, turned the lamp off, and laid my head on my pillow. A mirror of Melissa's smirk plastered on my face, just as I was falling into a peaceful nights sleep.

**A/N: So how was it for my first story? Read and Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Spencer POV**

Melissa was finally coming home today. I'd spent all day preparing for her visit. I was happy because she was at least going to be here for a month. My parents and I were in our living room awaiting Melissa's return.

I hadn't really kept in touch with her since she left, but I was very excited to see her and catch up. Ever since that night in my bedroom the year before, I knew I wanted it to happen again.

Right before she left, there were always little signs that let me know that the feelings were mutual. There would be the stolen glances at the dinner table. Or the shivers whenever we would accidentally touch each other. But of course, she had to pick a stupid college in a stupid state away from me.

The sound of a car engine pulled me out of my thoughts. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach was strange to me. It hadn't dawned on me that i would be nervous to see her.

When she walked in, I had to keep myself from smiling like an idiot. She went to hug my parents first. In this time I noticed something I must have missed before. There was a man, albeit a bit handsome, standing awkwardly in our front doorway. "Mom, dad, this is my fiance, Wren Kingston"  
I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.

"F-fiance? W-when did this happen?"

My mom turned to Melissa and frowned. "Oh, Melissa, you never told your sister?" She turned and held hands with the man behind her. "Whoops, must have slipped my mind." she held up her hand to showcase an engagement ring. My parents started to swoon. ButI saw her, looking for something, looking for it in me. Her eyes locked with mine, and everything became numb.

Was she trying to hurt me? I thought she felt the same way...

I could hear faint noises around me. I could feel unshed tears in my eyes, threatening to spill over. They did. Thenext thing I felt was the rush of wind blowing past my face. I couldn't register when I got up and began running, but it was bound to happen. I could hear people calling my name, But I couldn't turn back, not now.

I was betrayed by the love of my life, my own sister, Melissa Hastings.

**Okay, here is another chapter. Read and review people!**

**Also I want to say thank you to all of the people who left really great comments on my first chapter! I'd like to know if you want me to continue this and for how long. Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I dont own Pretty Little Liars. Though it would be totally awesome.**

**Spencer POV**

I found myself at the edge of a lake. The atmosphere was calming. I stripped off my shoes and dipped my feet into the water. I swayed my feet back and forth and listened to the chirping birds. It was a nice getaway.

Unfortunately, it was only temporary. My heart was starting to physically ache at the remembrance of Melissa and her fiance. I wiped my face of it's dried tears. Maybe what happened so long ago was just a fluke. Maybe I just imagined all of the signs I was getting from her. Maybe she felt it was wrong. Wasn't it though? I wasn't supposed to love her the way I did. And apparently she didn't love me the way I'd hoped for her to.

She loved someone else. And his name was Wren Kingston. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, but I willed myself to not cry over this anymore. I took my feet out of the water, dried them off and put my shoes on, then proceeded to walk home. It would be a long walk back...

I got home and remembered my hasty exit. There would definitely be a legion of questions. I tried to slip into the house unnoticed. I'd made it halfway up the stairs and was on the verge of commemorating myself on my success when I heard someone clear their throat. I silently chastised myself for not being quiet enough and slowly turned around. I was faced with the sight of Melissa with her arms crossed. She had an accusatory glare on her face and her lips were tightly pressed together.

"You missed dinner." That's all?

"My bad, I wasn't very hungry." I replied a bit sharper than I intended to.

"Spencer? What is with you?"

"Well wouldn't you like to know."

"Oh cut the crap Spencer, I finally come home and with, amazing news, and all of a sudden you run out of the room like something terrible happened!" I clenched my teeth at that. Didn't she know?

"Maybe because something terrible DID happen!" She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something but I continued before she could get a word in. "Does that night not mean anything to you? You leave for a year and come back with a fiance and expect me to be all happy-go-lucky for you? How am I supposed to know that you've moved on without so much as a phone call to see how I was? I felt like shit for so long, and now, that FIANCE of yours isn't helping!"

She looked as if she'd been punched her in the gut. I would have taken it back, but I knew that I'd meant every word I said. For the hundredth time today I felt tears welling in my eyes. She started to walk towards me, but changed her mind and walked outside towards the barn.

That's so like her...

I began to run up the stairs to my bedroom. I felt drained of all the energy I had prior to the start of the day. I found it funny as to how a day can start off so amazing, then turn so bad. My phone chimed off to the side somewhere signaling that I had a text message. I picked it up and saw a message from Aria.

**Aria: Hey, wanna hang out after school tomorrow? Its my treat. :)**

I replied with a quick sure, because in all honesty, I just didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. After I took off my clothes, I jumped in the shower. It was a relief to wash away my mix of feelings. I let the water run for a while then turned it off and got out. I exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body. After I did my nightly routine of taking off makeup and combing hair, I got into bed.

Suddenly I heard my door open and then close shut. This felt all too familiar. I automatically knew it was Melissa and I sat up in bed. She was waking towards me and I had a cold look directed towards her.

"Look, im gonna talk and I don't want you to say anything. I thought about what you said before and, I admit, I should have called o-or texted or_something_, but I didn't and I'm sorry. But you must admit to me that it's a bit unrealistic for us to even think about being together in that way, your my_sister _for goodness sake..." I looked at her with hurt in my eye, but I figured she had a point. "But Spence, I truly am sorry."

I couldn't hold back. No matter what she said at that moment I simply couldn't do it. I leaned forward and laced my fingers in her hair. I firmly pissed our lips together and she responded immediately. I never noticed before how soft her lips were until that moment. The way they moved against mine felt too good to be wrong.

She parted her lips from mine and I thought she was going to stop, but she contradicted by thought by attacking my neck with her lips. The force she was applying was definitely going to leave a mark. I let out a throaty moan. I moved my hands to her lower back. She returned to my lips and I granted her tongue access to my mouth.

I lightly bit her bottom lip and she moaned into my mouth. My hands began to slip under the waist band of her panties. From what I could feel, they were simple, lace, and definitely small. She got up to straddle my waist and I sat up in front of her. My hands left her pants and slowly traveled up her toned abs to her bra clad breast.

Her hands were in my hair. She pulled at it slightly because she was aroused. Just as I was about to unhook her bra, there was a noise in the hallway.

"Melissa?"

Ugh, that damn Wren just ruined what would have probably been my first time. Melissa panicked and scrambled off of my lap. She stumbled a bit before landing on the floor. I would have laughed at her, but I was too upset and confused.

"In here." She croaked before clearing her throat and restating it more clearly. Before Wren could come I reached over to turn my lamp on. I noticed Melissa looked a bit flushed and imagined I must have as well. Wren opened my door slowly and his eyes lightened at the sight of his soon to be wife.

"Ah, there you are."

"Uh - yeah, here I am" Melissa relied a bit too chipper. Wren must have just noticed me because he turned his attention off of Melissa for the first time. "Hmm, you must be Spencer, I've heard so much about you. I did'nt get to see much of you when you left of sickness earlier. I hope you are well." I just nodded and smiled in response and raised my eyebrows to my sister. She just blushed more, if that was even possible.

"Sorry to interrupt" _Oh he interrupted alright._

"I was just seeing when your lovely sister was going to join me back in the barn."

"Oh yeah, I was just leaving, but give me a sec, ok?"

"Sure, take all the time you need." He dismissed himself, but not before giving Melissa a kiss, to which I visibly cringed at. And if my vision was right, Melissa cringed as well.

"So I guess you should be heading back now..."

"Um, yeah, I guess..." She came and sat at the edge of my bed. "Spence, im marrying the most amazing guy..."

"Well then what the hell just happened?" I asked feeling a little annoyed. "I - I don't know." Then she whispered a barely audible, "But I liked it..." I turned her head toward mine and she leaned in to kiss me. It was soft and simple. When she pulled back, she stood up and started to leave. This time I didn't ask her to stay. Before she closed the door, she uttered "Goodnight Spencer."

I was left with compete confusion, but there was something I couldn't deny. That was... AMAZING.

**A/N: So here is chapter 3. Im really glad that I get good reviews from you guys. Im also not sure if i should add smut or not. Keep reading and review to let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_I heard my door open for the second time tonight. I sat up and saw Melissa standing in my doorway. She was wearing a see-through gown and lace thongs with a matching bra. I instantly felt a throb in my core._

_"Spencer, I came to finish what we started."_

_Melissa inched closer to my bed. She reached her hand out and caressed my face, showing a bit of a gentle side. Then, as if all things gentle were forgotten, she quickly and forcefully grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head and proceeded to straddle my waist._

_I was extremely turned on and let out a moan. She ground her hips into mine and I could feel her moist core on my stomach through her thongs. She let go of my wrist, cupped my face with her hands and leaned down to kiss my lips. Instead of another long make-out session, she rather quickly separated her lips from mine and moved to the nape of my neck and placed wet open mouth kisses there._

_From the position I was in, all I could do was squirm and hope for some much needed contact. Sensing my distress, Melissa laid me down and began to travel downward, placing soft kisses along the way. As soon as she reached my shorts, I lifted my hips so she could easily pull them off. She took my shorts and underwear off in a single, skilled motion._

_I felt her mouth travel up my legs, right on my thigh. She reached for my hand and squeezed lightly and I looked at her. Her eyes held a deep look of lust, as well as silently asking for permission, and I nodded my head yes. Definitely. I closed my eyes just as she was about to-_

**BOOM BOOM BOOM!**

My eyes flew open at the sudden noise. "Spencer! We're going out. See you soon," yelled my mom.  
I felt my left hand in my pants and pulled out frustratingly. I groaned loudly.

_Ugh! A stupid fucking dream. A stupid fucking hot ass wet dream..._

I got out of bed, walked to the bathroom and turned the cold water on in the shower. Maybe it would help me get my mind off the uncomfortable throb between my legs.

With the cool water running down my sides, I suddenly felt weary. Everything seemed to be piling up so quickly that I couldn't keep track of it all. The fact that I couldn't tell anyone about my feelings made it worse. This wasn't an everyday kind of situation. Let alone the simple truth that two siblings together was absurd.  
After my shower I remembered my plans with Aria. If I had the choice to sleep in, it'd be number one priority, but I'd agreed to go along. I got dressed in dark wash skinny jeans, a white button down, and a cute dark blue beret for accessory.

I went down the stairs, bearing my phone and keys, headed to the kitchen. I needed my coffee so that I could meet with aria for coffee...

It made total sense.

I put on the coffee maker and was about to grab the coffee grounds, but before I could turn around, I felt arms wrap around my waist.

"Good morning."

I felt her warm breath on my ear and a shudder ran down my back. She placed a soft kiss on my collarbone and I moaned at her touch. There was sound coming from outside and the back door opened. Melissa moved so fast, unraveling her arms and stepping away from me. Wren announced his presence at the door.

"Good morning ladies."

I looked at Melissa who appeared flushed and slightly agitated. I knew that if I were Wren, I'd question why Melissa always seemed to act weird whenever she and I were in the same room together.

"Uh, hi...Welp, I'm gonna go meet up with Aria, later." Melissa looked panicked. "Spence, wait, I-"

But I was already out the door and headed out to my car. I only noticed that I left my coffee once I was pulling out of the drive way. Damn it...

I arrived at the brew and spotted Aria reading a book on the couch.

"Hey pixie." She feined offended and glared at me. "Hi..."

I sat across from her and called over a waiter. I ordered my regular of black coffee with one sugar. Once he left, I resumed my earlier thoughts of my sister. They started off as innocent, then my mind wandered to our most recent tryst. Aria looked up from her book to catch a far away look in my eye, and her expression turned to confused and completely interested.

"What's got you all smiley and flustered?"

I looked at her with my eyes widened a little. However, I didn't want to be caught red handed. My eyebrows knitted together and I scrunched my nose. She gasped.

"Is it a BOY?" I laughed a little. _Nope, not a boy._

"There is no boy, ugh, where's my coffee." The sound of the door caught my attention. And in walks none other than Melissa and Wren. Aria followed my gaze towards the door.

"Ooh, who's the hottie with your sister?"

I must have been glaring in their direction because aria seemed to be connecting dots in her head. "Oh, _Oh_...I get now."

I panicked a little. "You do?" I croaked out.

"Definitely, your so jealous of your sister. I mean, with a hunk like that! Shoot, im a little jealous myself."

I scoffed. _More like jealous of Wren._

"Aria, i'm not jealous of anyone."

I looked back toward my sister, Wren gave her a kiss on her cheek and turned toward the door and left. Melissa spun on her heel and started walking towards me and my friend. My heart beat speed up just a little bit in my chest.

"Hey little sister. Aria."

"Hey Melissa." Aria replied.

Melissa took her hand and placed it on my shoulder. I stood up quickly and pushed her hand off of me.

"I've, gotta pee..."

I practically ran from where they were and headed towards the bathroom. I didn't know why I was acting so weird. I kept making it obvious. I made up my mind to head back out to where they were sitting before Melissa excused herself to check up on me.

I exited the restroom and walked toward the couch that held Aria. Once I sat next to her, I could practically feel everyone's eyes burning holes into me.  
"So, what's new with you guys?" Melissa asked, attempting a conversation. I questioned her with my eyes, but Aria was quick to reply.

"Eh, same old stuff, different day."

"Good, good. School?"

"Fine, Melissa, what's with the interrogation?" I snapped at her.

She feined a look of hurt. "Can't I just see how my sister and friends are without an ulterior motive?" I grunted in response, and Aria told me to cut her some slack. Aria directed her attention to my sister. "Melissa, who was that handsome sir next to you?"

My sister tilted her head to the side. She seemed to be coming up with different things to say about him in her head. "Ok, that was my fiance, Wren."

Aria's eyebrows lifted in minor shock and she threw me a sideways glance. Aria looked back at Melissa as if she wanted her to continue.  
Melissa sighed before continuing. "He's a really great guy. He's sweet, cute, and also British."

Aria might have bought it, but this seemed rehearsed to me. As if this is what she said whenever someone asked about him.

"But enough about me. So, have you girls met any cute guys recently?" Melissa was really at it with the questions, silently directed at me. And once again, Aria was quick with a reply.

"Ha, not me. But Spence, here, has got a cutie named Toby completely drooling after her." I looked at her with wide eyes and Melissa looked at me with narrow ones. When it came to romance, Aria really could pull a Hanna move.

"Toby? Whose Toby?"

"Um no one important." I laughed nervously.

Melissa remained quiet the rest of the completely awkward moment. I could tell she was getting an arsenal of questions ready for when we could talk in private.

After a while of questioning eyes and silent looks, Aria's phone chimed and broke the quietness. She reached for it to answer the text.

"Well, um, my mom wants me home for something." She looked up apologetically and promised she'd talk to me later. Aria stood up, grabbed her coffee and practically skipped out of the brew. I could tell that the message on her phone was in fact not her mother.

I looked over at Melissa and opened my mouth to say something, but I got distracted by the jingle of the door. In came the one person I was dreading to see right now.

_Toby..._

**_A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. There been some things going on at home and otherwise. However, I've been working on some other chapters. Hope you enjoy this._**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_In came the one person I was dreading to see right now, __**Toby**__..._

His eyes lit up when he saw me. It almost made me feel bad because I didn't return his feelings. Here comes this great guy that likes me a lot, yet here I am clouded by my inappropriate feelings toward my sister.

He walked over towards me and my heart sped up. Not because of his effect on me, but because my sister was still in our vicinity.

"Hey Spence, its good to see you!" I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. I looked over at Melissa who was staring questioningly at the intruder of our ever growing silence.

"Um.." I cleared my throat and continued. "Toby, this is my sister, Melissa. And Melissa, this is my... Friend, Toby." I noticed Toby flinch when I said friend, but I was only really interested in Melissa's reaction.

I became apprehensive when she began getting her things together.

"I think I'm gonna go too." She sounded calm, but her face was red. I could tell that on the inside she was boiling. "Mel, wait..." I tried to console her, but she ignored me and continued to leave.

"Woah, where's she going?" I looked up at him with annoyance written all over my face. "Gee, I've got no clue" I said, my voice laced with sarcasm.

Toby sat down on the couch and furrowed his eyebrows. "Uh, Spence. D-did I do something wrong?"

I took a deep breath. I looked at him. I felt bad for taking my feelings out on him. "No. Toby, you didn't do anything wrong. Im sorry, I'm just a little upset, that's all."

"Oh, alright." Toby got up and moved to sit next to me. He was a little to close for my liking. I tried not to show discomfort on my face, but I'm sure my face turned into a grimace.

Toby used his hand to turn my head toward him. "Anything I can do to help?" He asked, trying his best to appeal to me.

I stared at him with wide eyes as he was leaning forward. His lips touched mine and the only thing I could do was compare him to Melissa. Her lips were soft, but his were rough. I would kiss her all day if I could, but I wanted this kiss to end...Right now.

My wish had been granted when Toby suddenly pulled away, but it wasn't for the reason I'd hoped. Behind us stood an angry Melissa, and he'd pulled away due to her loud gasp.

"Um, What..The...HELL, is going on here?"

All I could think of is what I did to deserve this. Toby was confused. Melissa was angry. And I just wanted to ease the tension.

"Melissa! Why are you back?" I asked her nervously. She looked at me as if I'd asked the most ridiculous question ever.

"Well Spencer," I flinched when she spat my name."I came back because I left my keys, but why... do i need to be met with the image of this complete stranger sucking your face!"

Toby piped up from his coward position on the the couch. "Oh uh, she said she was upset, so I tried to make her feel better..."

"Oh what, by shoving your tongue down her throat?"

I quickly stood up and tried to shush Melissa. Her loud tone was attracting unwanted attention.

"Mel, I don't think this is the place to have this conversation."

"Oh really? Then when. When are you gonna tell him why you can't be together?"

"Right. Then you could have the same talk with Wren!"

Her eyes got wide in surprise at my last statement. She hadn't expected me to bring him up. Melissa and I stood there glaring at each other. Then there was a small voice coming from my side.

"Spence, what is she talking about?"

I turned my head towards Toby. He was standing now, but he looked so small. I could tell that his emotions ranged from confused to sad with the news he'd just received.

"Oh I... Toby..."

That was the last thing I remember before my knees buckled and everything went black.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter but I wanted to get this up as soon as possible. **


	6. Chapter 6

_"Oh I... Toby..."_

_ That was the last thing I remember before my knees buckled and everything went black..._

** Spencer POV**

When I finally came to, I looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what had just happened and why there were bright lights shining directly above me. I slightly squinted my eyes as the lights were irritating me.

I tried to reach up and scratch my head, but I felt a light tug on my arm. I looked over and noticed an IV sticking out of my arm.

_'I must be in a hospital.'_

I wracked my brain trying to remember when and how I got here. My thoughts were ceased, however, when I heard a soft sob come from the corner of this large hospital room. I looked toward the area that the sound came from and saw my sister in a chair that seemed extremely uncomfortable. She was silently crying and I felt an obligation to comfort her.

I attempted to sit up from my position but I felt a painful throb in my head which made me yelp in pain. Melissa's head suddenly shot up at my outburst. Her eyes were wide and she was frantic. There were dark circles under her eyes that let me know she'd been up for a while.

"Hey Mel. How long have we been here?" I asked as I roamed my eyes around the large area. Melissa's eyes were still wide, but she closed them and shook her head side ways as if to be physically clearing her head.

"We're... Um." She paused in order to clear her throat before continuing her sentence. "We are at the.. Hospital, Spence. You fainted , um, a few days ago, actually, and have been asleep since..." She hesitantly finished her message before looking at me.

My eyes had gone wide when she'd been speaking. I hadn't realized that I'd been here for such a long time.

"Spencer... A-are you ok?"

I took a moment to do a self assessment. There was no discomfort anywhere but my head, which didn't really hurt all that much. But I knew that I had to take the moment to tease her.

I snickered before saying, "Yeah Melissa. Except for the humongous gash on the back of my head, I'm pretty sure I'm alright." I finished with a smirk on my face, but she still shot off of the chair with concern written on her face.

She rushed to my side and lightly pressed her hand on the side of my head.

"Oh god. Spencer, I'm so sorry." Her eyes began flooding with tears. She lightly began muttering self loathing comments and I caught glimpses of what she was saying.

"Ugh i'm so stupid... I knew I shouldn't have said that... It's all my fault."

I immediately felt bad for her. I'm sure whatever happened wasn't her fault.

"Hey, Mel, don't say that."

She shook her head and tears fell from her eyes. I think I could hear my heart crack at the sight of her crying over me.

"No Spence, it is my fault. I publicly humiliated you and, i'm totally being a hypocrite..."

I reached over, grabbed her hand, and allowed her to continue.

"I just got so jealous when I saw you with that guy. But I guess that's how you feel when I'm with Wren."

She scoffed and looked down at me.

"Spencer, i'm so sorry."

She leaned down and wrapped her arms around me. We stayed in an embrace for a while. When she pulled away, I reached up and wiped away her tears.

"Mel, I understand, and it's alright. But... You know that you have to choose, which sucks, but I think it would make sense for you to choose the person you're about to get married to."

She started shaking her head. "But Spence I... I love you."

I smiled at her. But my smile faltered at what I was about to tell her.

"I love you too Mel, but this isn't right. None of this is. You should be with Wren. I don't want to have to live my life in constant fear of someone finding out about us."

I managed to sit up in my seat. She leaned down again and placed a small kiss to my lips. I reached around her head and pulled her closer. Our lips moved together in perfect harmony. Nothing in the world could beat this feeling.

She pulled away and kept her head against my fore head.

I never noticed Toby standing so the door until i looked in the direction. There was a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a confused expression on his face.

I pulled away from Melissa and she noticed where i was looking. Once she saw Toby, she backed up and covered her mouth with her hands. He walked in and placed the flowers on the table beside the bed.

I didn't look at him, fearing that all I would see was disgust.

"Hey um, get better Spence..."

Then he just turned on his heel and left.

**A/N: I know, I know. I took forever. But I'll just be serious; I was thinking about deleting this story. I wont now because of all people that have said so many good things about it. Thank you all.**

**I'll let you guys in on something though. I'm working on a new story. It's a mchastings fic and i'm really proud of my progress so far. I only thought of deleting this because I felt that my writing was much better in that story than this one. But I'll try my best to balance them both. Thanks to all the people who've stuck with me :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Spencer POV**

I tried everything. Calling him didn't work. Texting didn't work. I couldn't even see him in school anymore. He was doing everything he could to avoid me.

I was sitting in chemistry, feeling extreme anxiety at the thought of what he saw at the hospital. Shortly after he left, Melissa kept acting awkward. Then she told me she was going home to pack. I had completely forgot that she wasn't staying. And that filled me with despair, but I guess it was for the best.

I was pulled from my thoughts as the bell rang. I gathered my things and headed out the classroom. I easily dodged my friends, telling them that I was to busy to hang out with them. Which, in hind sight, was true. I needed to look for Toby. I _had_ too. I needed to find out what he saw, and I would do anything to find out.

I knew that Toby wasn't too active. So I wouldn't find him in any sports related areas

So I started looking for him in the library. I checked between the aisles and the corners of the vast room. He wasn't there. I looked by the largest staircase in the school, which is where kids sometimes hung out and skipped class. Oddly enough. It was vacant.

After a while, I gave up my search. I went out to the courtyard and sat at the base of Large tree. School had let out a few minutes ago, so it would make sense for him to have already left. I sighed and buried my face in my hands. My anxiety was rising. _What did he see? Was he going to tell anyone? Why did we have to kiss anyway? How did this even happen?_

I heard leaves crunching ahead. It was probably just some kid wandering around. 'Please let them leave me alone'. I heard shuffling beside me. I looked up and saw Toby sitting beside me. He didn't say anything, and neither did I, not knowing how to start off.

I cleared my throat before opening my mouth. "T- Toby... What did, um. What did you..."

"Nothing, Spence. I saw nothing that you wouldn't want me to see."

I took a shuddering breath. "I- I just. I don't even know..." My eyes began to water. He grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. "Spencer, listen to me. Im not judging you, I swear. Because I, I understand..."

I looked at him, utterly confused. He sighed, but continued. " I have a step sister. She, um. She used to have sex with me. And if I tried to stop it, she would make it seem as if it was _me_ who forced myself on _her_." I could hear that he gritted his teeth. I scrunched my eyebrows and began shaking my head. "B-but that's not-" he cut me off again.

" No, wait. Im not saying that she's forcing you. From what I saw, your connection with your, sister, is emotional. Im just saying that... Im in no place to judge you. At all." He scoffed and shook his head.

We were quiet for a while. I got my breathing under control and dealt with the slightly awkward silence.

Toby signed and opened his mouth to speak. "So that's why, um. She's why you wouldn't even look at me? Because you, uh..."

"Because I love my sister..." I finished for him, barely above a whisper. I thought he didn't hear me at first, but when he kept quiet, I knew that he had. " Because, im in love, with my sister." My voice cracked as I finally said the words aloud. What'd I'd been feeling for so long, I actually just admitted. To Toby no less.

"Toby im so sorry. I like you, I do. But I can't just, leave this alone. She's, um, leaving soon anyway. So maybe, once she's gone, we could still talk o-or hang out together. Maybe. But right now I just need to sort this out, and maybe get closure on this part of me. Because I know this isn't right, I know that. But I can't just let her go knowing that some part of me still wants her. So right now I just need t-to see her and, and put an end to this and-"

I was cut off by Toby squeezing hand. I guess I was rambling again. I didn't mind though. My voice was becoming raw and rough anyway.

Tears were rapidly falling from my eyes and my shoulders shook with every sob. Toby wrapped his arms around me and I curled into him.

I was crying for so many different reasons. I felt bad, for _so_ many things. It tore me up inside, and I was finally let it show.

I felt bad for the simple fact that me trusting Toby with this might give him the wrong impression. I mean, after being in love with someone like Melissa, how can I fall back down to a _guy_ like Toby? But I also felt awful for leading him on. I felt bad that all my feelings and emotions just, fell to shit. But most of all, I felt every bad emotion in the world, realizing that everything she and I put into this was all for nothing. It was so unlikely that we would even be together. All I could think was, 'why did we even try?' But honestly, I don't regret a thing. And I know that I will always love her. And that's all that matters to me.

My sobs finally reduced to sniffles and trembling breaths. I sat up a little and rested my head on his shoulder. He grabbed my hand and I had to stop myself from comparing him to, _her_.

I was staring at the ground, feeling sightly uncomfortable in the stillness of the moment. I heard him sigh and clear his throat. My anxiety was coming back again. 'Just say it before I go crazy sitting here.'

"M- Maybe, Spence?"

I closed my eyes and braced myself for my reply.

"Maybe."

**A/N: Finally another chapter. Sorry it took so long loves, I have no excuses. Hope you all liked it. Make sure to review and let me know what you would like to see. And for those of you wondering about my mchastings story, its still under construction. I want to get as many chapters written as possible before I post it. Also, I have a sparia story posted so be sure to check it out. Have a great day.**


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